Table of Contents

• Chapter 1: In Which It Hails and Not Much Else
• Chapter 2: In Which the Narrator's Job is Taken Over by Stilted Dialogue
• Chapter 3: In Which Flora Has a Puncture Wound or Two (But Three Is Right Out)
• Chapter 4: In Which The Author Takes 6,000 Words to Tell Us It Was a Vampire
• Chapter 5: In Which They Still Can't Believe It's a Vampire
• Chapter 6: In Which the Narrator Returns from His Long Hiatus and Makes Us Miss the Dialogue
• Chapter 7: In Which the Story Might Be More Suspenseful if Everyone Weren't So Predictably Stupid
• Chapter 8: In Which (Spoiler Warning!) the Tomb is Empty
• Chapter 9: In Which Flora is Badass (But JMR Kind of Screws It Up)
• Chapter 10: In Which Flora Didn't Kill the Vampire Because It's a F***ing Vampire
• Chapter 11: In Which the Blogger Returns after a Long Hiatus
• Chapter 12: In Which Charles Remains the Blogger's Favorite Character
• Chapter 13: In Which We Finally Meet the Title Character
• Chapter 14: In Which Henry Makes an Offer
• Chapter 15: In Which More Soap Operatic Elements are Introduced
• Chapter 16: In Which Charles and Flora Tempt Fate
• Chapter 17: In Which Varney Never Drinks... Vine
• Chapter 18: In Which the Admiral Becomes the Most Interesting Character in the Book
• Chapter 19: In Which JMR Writes His Own Digressions
• Chapter 20: In Which Varney Makes a More Threatening Offer than Last Time
• Chapter 21: In Which Varney Clearly Should Have Been a Comedy
• Chapter 22: In Which a Convenient Obstacle Appears
• Chapter 23: In Which a Duel is Arranged
• Chapter 24: In Which Charles Prepares to Meet His Doom
• Chapter 25: In Which the Admiral Tells a Story
• Chapter 26: In Which Charles is Kind Of a Dick (Or So We Think)
• Chapter 27: In Which the Contrived Obstacle is Conveniently Resolved
• Chapter 28: In Which Our Heroes Begin Their Search
• Chapter 29: In Which a Digression is Actually Welcomed
• Chapter 30: In Which the Blogger Observes a Pattern
• Chapter 31: In Which JMR Isn't Even Trying
• Chapter 32: In Which Varney's Fear Makes Him Look Silly, Not Human
• Chapter 33: In Which Varney's Sympathetic Nature Comes to Light
• Chapter 34: In Which Varney is Adept at Blame Shifting
• Chapter 35: In Which the Admiral's Awesomeness Overshadows Everything Again
• Chapter 36: In Which the Admiral is Clearly Rubbing Off on Flora
• Chapter 37: In Which JMR Fails at Dramatic Irony
• Chapter 38: In Which the Duel Subplot Becomes Even More Contrived
• Chapter 39: In Which the Duel Goes Awry
• Chapter 40: In Which the Mob is Generally Useless
• Chapter 44: In Which There Are No Chapters 41 through 43
• Chapter 45: In Which the Mob is My New Favorite Character
• Chapter 46: In Which the Bannerworths Decide to Move (Again)
• Chapter 47: In Which We Encounter an Odd Combination of Fiction and Folklore
• Chapter 48: In Which a Vampire Finally Gets Staked (Maybe)
  
• Chapter 49: In Which the Mob is Easily Captured (Except for the Ones Who Escape)
• Chapter 50: In Which JMR is a Chapter Behind
• Chapter 51: In Which Conveniently, No One Gets Hurt
• Chapter 52: In Which Varney Makes a Cameo
• Chapter 53: In Which The Military Suddenly Doesn't Care About the Mob
• Chapter 54: In Which Varney Obviously Isn't Dead -- He's the Title Character
• Chapter 55: In Which the Mob Stumbles Around in the Dark Because It's Funny, I Guess
• Chapter 56: In Which the Bannerworths Finally Leave
• Chapter 57: In Which I Suddenly Enjoy Waiting for the Vampire
• Chapter 58: In Which The Book Can't Get Any Awesomer Than This
• Chapter 59: In Which There Was Never Such a Stupid; The Admiral Said So Himself
• Chapter 60: In Which Another (More Bizarre) Duel is Proposed
• Chapter 61: In Which the Blogger Is Reminded of Why She Keeps Reading and Why She Wants to Stop, All in the Same Chapter
• Chapter 62: In Which There is a Surprising Reveal (Other Than the Fact That The Blogger Updated)