Previously in Varney the Vampire: Varney keeps a wine cellar full of blood. Maybe.
(Finally, my Internet connection is back! It's like it knows when I'm trying to make a blog post, or something.)
So, this chapter begins with the mob setting Varney's house on fire, just in case he's still hiding in there. And then there's this whole thing about how if vampires got married they wouldn't want to live forever and ha ha women are awful isn't that hilarious.
And then the military shows up and everyone's like, "Ho hum, can't prove who did what so might as well not worry about it. Serves Varney right for not getting out of town when people started accusing him of vampirism." Seriously?
I feel terrible for this being so short as well as late but I swear to God that is all that happens.
Chapter 54: In Which Varney Obviously Isn't Dead -- He's the Title Character